Polly

Writings and Witterings

Bitten

45 Comments

Research tells
Of 55,000
Death knells,
One every 10 minutes,
What a finish.

First comes numbness,
Drooling
And dumbness,
Then there’s fury,
Madness and rage,

Hydrophobia at this stage,
Next come
Hallucination,
Delusion, aberration,
Followed by paralysis,

Sepsis, dialysis,
Pursued by
Death.
Oh, you rabid dog,
Keep away from me!

Cujo springs to mind,
Bitten by a bat,
Killed by a
Bat
Of a different kind.

Furious rabies,
Frothing
At mouth,
Attacking everyone
Who comes to the house.

Research tells
Of 55,000
Death knells,
One every 10 minutes,
What a finish.

Polly Robinson © 2012

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45 thoughts on “Bitten

  1. I like your darker poems. And of course, the medical aspect appeals to me. 😉

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  2. I have to agree – I like the darker ones too. Although I confess to reading this without my contacts in and read “furious rabies” as “furious rabbits” for a second… Sorry! 😉

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    • heh-heh, re furious rabbits, hahahahahaha – I like the darker ones too but am working hard on different forms in poetry, becoming quite obsessed by them, in fact 😉

      Thanks for your thoughts, Holly.

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  3. LOL How bout writing a poem about ‘furious rabbits’ for holly? 😀 Love it. Seriously … I dare you. Talk about a great writing prompt 😉

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    • Gauntlet thrown down ‘eh, LOL 🙂

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      • 😀

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        • OK, I know it’s not especially dark, but especially for Holly – and encouraged by Ann – here is your ‘furious rabbit’ poem:

          FABBIT THE RABBIT

          Young Fabbit
          The rabbit
          And brothers,
          Babbit and Fred,
          Are good little rabbits, mostly,
          It’s said.
          They go in to breakfast,
          Cereal today,
          But not Fabbit’s fave, as his face seems to say.
          His foot starts tapping,
          His nerves are on edge,
          His brothers are wide-eyed
          They know what comes next,
          Fabbit is getting annoyed!
          ‘Duh ma! How could you! You know I hate Beetabicks,
          I want Legaloggs – *Right Now!*
          I can’t grow big and strong
          On something that’s wrong,
          And Beetabicks is cruddy chow!’
          His rave grows to rant
          As close by is scant
          Attention
          Being given to him,
          His ma just ignores
          His raving implores,
          A raised eyebrow is sent on with vim.
          ‘Duh ma! I want …’
          ‘I want doesn’t get,’
          Oh oh, now there’ll be trouble,
          Shy, sly glances suggest
          That it would be best
          To leave pretty quick, at the double.
          Fabbit beats his brothers to it,
          The dish hits the floor,
          He, furiously shaking, slams out the door.
          Ma turns to the boys
          And says calmly, poised,
          ‘Eat your breakfast, lads, you may have more.’

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    • Ha! Still laughing about this one – nicely challenged Ann! 🙂

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  4. This one is pretty dang cool Polly. Fabulously written and very interesting. Great piece!!

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  5. I was in the mood for something dark today, Polly

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  6. You are darkly welcome here Sarah 🙂

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  7. Fun poem. I like the list of symptoms – reads like Rx side effects. I also like the repetition of the first stanza.

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  8. Oh, what an awful way to go!! Nicely penned!!

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  9. Rabies is such a savage disease too. Yikes! I’ve seen rabid dogs on movies and in TV shows to show the effects etc but, Yikes. What a scary thing it would be to meet one. They wiped out rabies in the 1960’s in the UK and due to very strict quarantine laws about bringing pets into the UK they’ve kept it rabies free (thankfully) not that I live there anymore though 🙂
    Great, vivid writing.

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  10. You got down and dirty with this one! Well done!

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  11. Yikes, those biting words can kill like a mad dog ~ I like the repetition of the first and last stanza ~ Enjoyed the visit ~

    http://a-sweetlust.blogspot.ca/2012/07/convergence.html

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  12. Very chilling. My sister-in=law (and my brother) separately had to get the shots. So scary! k.

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  13. good night…what an interesting statistic…sobering….and the irony in the cujo…bit by the bat killed by the bat plays well and i had not thought of it that way before…

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  14. One of my favorite movies as a child was Old Yeller, who ends up dying of rabies. It does sound like a terrible way to die. You’ve fashioned that into a disturbing poem that draws so much on our dread of sickness and death. Clinically described this way, the reality becomes much more horrifying, though one would think the objective view would immunize us to that. I think you’ve done an interesting job of interpreting the prompt, something I had hoped someone would do. Excellent write.

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    • Interesting that you pick up on the clinical nature of the poem – I was concerned that it was overly factual but my writing group really liked it because it was so.

      So pleased that you liked it in response to your prompt – an interesting prompt that made me think hard before submitting.

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  15. The clinical approach of detached observation and rather dry, medical language only enforce a feeling of fear, nicely amped up with the Cujo reference. I also get a feeling of layers, that there are more ways of looking at this malady than the physical — as a disease of the soul, for instance. Good stuff.

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  16. Excellent, disturbing poem, the repetition of first and last stanzas really reinforce the message. Hope your poem makes a few people more aware of the dangers of rabies for people travelling to areas where it is endemic…Like Chazinator, I remember Old Yeller very well, and it certainly lodged rabies in my consciousness.

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  17. the rabies and the rabbits are very different.
    the disease is scary
    the rabbits are whimsical

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  18. oh heck…haunting intensity in this one… my son got bitten by a cat once and we thought she probably had the rabies..so he got a vaccination just to be sure…was quite scary..

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