Back in 2012, over at dVerse, Gay Cannon asked ‘What is modern?’ and also asked us to write a Triversen poem—I guess we all have our own take on what is modern—it seems to me to be a word that is used in many different ways…anyway, here is my Triversen poem, the form was invented by William Carlos Williams.
Now, in 2015, Grace asks us if we have a favorite spring poem to share—so here it is again 🙂
Lamb
At the start of spring sunshine
in May, a clamour occurs,
an ignominious din.
She sees the lambs born
on a cool sunny morn, stumble;
bumble, late in the daylight.
The sun rises at four,
red, ruby, gold glows up high
and christens the new-born babes.
It comes round, it goes around,
it returns on this morning
of joy, of hope, of new lives.
Polly Stretton © 2012
Over at dVerse Poets, Gay had us writing Triversen in 2012—it’s harder than it looks—go and see for yourself! Republished in 2015 for Grace’s prompt about springtime.
14/06/2012 at 23:35
Lovely visual that brought to mind an 8-day retreat I spent at a monastery in a countryside in Pennsylvania in many years ago. The ewes were dropping their babies and every time you looked there were more little white dots on the green grass. I’m smiling.
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15/06/2012 at 00:00
The retreat sounds wonderful – glad my poem put you in mind of it, you clearly had a good time 🙂
Thank you for your thoughts.
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24/04/2015 at 15:42
How cool to have visited a monastery that way
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24/04/2015 at 15:47
Fantastic ‘eh? What a story 🙂
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14/06/2012 at 23:35
Very effective use of the form – the implied “agnus dei” lamb of god – the Easter message of joy in resurrection, in new birth, the hope of salvation, the turn of the seasons, and cycle of life – all this is found here. It flows so naturally. The poem lies before us green, scintillating in new light.
This is a very successful poem. Kudos.
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15/06/2012 at 00:02
It’s a funny thing about form, whilst on the one hand it constrains on the other it frees within those constraints…if you see what I mean…
Thank you for your comments, Gay, and for a superb prompt.
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19/07/2012 at 21:15
Second time around I felt the naturalness of the symbolism – which goes beyond faith and redemption but right to life itself. Again, as I say a very successful poem and exquisitely beautiful.
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19/07/2012 at 21:19
Thank you again, Gay, it means a great deal that you have commented twice especially since it was in response to your prompt 🙂
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14/06/2012 at 23:37
nice…so cool to see new life born…it reminds us of the miracles that are life around us…lovely imagery in this as well..
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15/06/2012 at 00:03
Too easy to forget life’s wonders … and thanks as ever, Brian, for your thoughts 🙂
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14/06/2012 at 23:53
Hiya Polly:
‘ignominious din”- glorious choice
I could wax lyrical about.
This wasn’t easy, was it?
The lambs around us are getting big and run around in gangs at the minute.
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15/06/2012 at 00:05
hah! Aprille, ‘ignominious’ is a wonderful word, I’ve been wanting to use it and it came to me for this poem, I’m sure!
No, it wasn’t easy 🙂
Thank you for your comments.
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15/06/2012 at 00:17
This is one christening I wold love to see–I mean, I see it in images, and now would like to be transported there. I like the idea of the sun (she) delighting in rebirth!
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15/06/2012 at 05:52
mmm … all that sunlight, I guess.
Thank you for your thoughts, Susan 🙂
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15/06/2012 at 00:59
Always a joy to see a naturalistic poem, as so few writers are adept at it, choosing instead an urban vocabulary.
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15/06/2012 at 05:52
Glad you enjoyed it Samuel
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15/06/2012 at 01:00
I know little about poetry other than how it makes me feel and how the words move through my brain. Your words glide with a lovely fluidity, igniting all of my senses. For whatever that’s worth. 🙂
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15/06/2012 at 05:53
Gosh, Carrie, thanks … that’s quite poetic 🙂
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15/06/2012 at 01:26
Love lambs in literature. Like the visual. Great work here.
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15/06/2012 at 05:53
You’re not on your own Henry 🙂 Thanks for commenting.
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15/06/2012 at 01:45
Beautifully vivid write, Polly. I could see it all in glorious living color!
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15/06/2012 at 05:54
Sunrise is perfect … I see it often 🙂
Thanks for your thoughts, Charles.
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15/06/2012 at 03:19
Simply beautiful!
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15/06/2012 at 05:54
Aw, thanks, Laurie
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20/07/2012 at 18:42
I’m glad you showcased this one. Have you thought of submitting it for publication somewhere?
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20/07/2012 at 19:14
I’m fond of this one, Laurie, but fear I wouldn’t have a clue about where to submit it for publication. I’ve had some poems published in anthologies, so may wait for the next appropriate one of those … I don’t know enough about submitting work / protecting copyright / whether publishers accept blogged work etc, so now I’ve written that perhaps it will make me do something about it.
Thank you for your interest and kind comments. Any suggestions re the above would be welcome 🙂
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21/07/2012 at 00:18
I’m glad you’re open to the idea, Polly. My email is lkkolpbmt@yahoo.com. Maybe I can help.
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15/06/2012 at 04:50
Lovely… Lambs bring me joy. Thank you for this piece.
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15/06/2012 at 05:55
Cheerful little critters, they are wondrous.
Thanks for commenting, Brenda 🙂
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15/06/2012 at 05:30
Lovely imagery – new life is always so uplifting
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15/06/2012 at 05:56
Makes one feel better, somehow.
Thanks for your thoughts, Marousia 🙂
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15/06/2012 at 09:53
I enjoyed this, Polly. Like your comment about the constraints/freedom of form – I think that’s true. Constrained emotion is somehow more powerful. Your poem made me look for something on triversen as it’s not a form I’m familiar with and thought you might like this link
http://thepoetsgarret.com/2011Challenge/form12.html
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15/06/2012 at 11:13
Hey-hey, thanks for the comments and the link, Lindsay. Triversen is an interesting form, invented by William Carlos Williams there seem to be a motley assortment of ‘rules’ eg Gay at dVerse says this: ‘Williams adapted to American poetry the syllabic prosody of the haiku and katauta by transmuting it: syllables became stresses; the seventeen syllables of the haiku and the nineteen syllables of the katauta, arranged in three lines of 5-7-5 or 5-7-7 syllables, became a “variable foot,” to use Williams’ terminology, also arranged in three lines.’ So this was the form I tried to stick with, see http://dversepoets.com/2012/06/14/formforall-triversen-an-attempt-to-define-the-modern/ it’s really interesting [if one is interested in form in poetry!]
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15/06/2012 at 11:17
Lovely Polly – well done. As usual I have come to the dVerse challenge too late, but am going to have a go at this form.
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15/06/2012 at 11:24
It’s an interesting one, Sally. You did a great Triolet recently, but this is a bit different … interesting how many definitions of this form seem to abound (!)
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15/06/2012 at 17:33
Ahhhh…. 😉
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15/06/2012 at 17:49
yes … a little lambie …
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15/06/2012 at 20:07
Vivid, and with a soft emotional edge of rebirth,refreshment and the connection with renewal that the web of nature provides us–liked it much.
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16/06/2012 at 00:08
I just loved this, the sun christening new born lambs a delightful image… a smile on my face this Saturday morning! 🙂
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16/06/2012 at 00:35
How good to hear from you, glad to see you here 🙂
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16/06/2012 at 10:33
Lambs and the circle of life – good theme
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16/06/2012 at 10:38
Thanks John 🙂
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16/06/2012 at 17:37
It’s all been said…. Apart from.
Baaaaaa-aaaa-aaaa….
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16/06/2012 at 17:40
… I guess the response to that has to be meh-meh ! 🙂
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19/07/2012 at 21:00
An interesting twist and a nice commentary about what constitutes the modern, we tend to be blind to those things outside our narrow conception. It’s great to see form and your conceit working together well.
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19/07/2012 at 21:09
Thanks for visiting Anna and for your thoughts 🙂 I love that you see the form and poetic conceit working well, that’s great 🙂
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19/07/2012 at 21:35
I love this form and come back to it on a regular basis. Nice use of it
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19/07/2012 at 22:22
smiles…this is lovely…the watching of the newly born and being born is a beautiful thing…as is new life…glad you are a part of what we are doing at dverse…
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19/07/2012 at 22:41
Aw, thanks Brian – good to see you here the first time and even better the second with such lovely thoughts 🙂
Really glad to be part of it …
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20/07/2012 at 00:35
Not to be disrespectful of form, rhyme, meter, etc. I pay attention to what is said and how, rather than the former. I could smell and see everything you write here. There is strong sense of renewal you put forth beautifully. Thank you.
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20/07/2012 at 07:59
Thank you for your honesty, I like the words and the way in which they’re used, what is said and how … having said that, sometimes they can be even more effective, tightened somehow, by the constraints / freedom brought about by a particular form.
Thank you for you thoughts, lovely to have you visit 🙂
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20/07/2012 at 02:49
This is wonderful. i know little of form, but this definitely brought William Carlos Williams to mind. Gorgeous imagery.
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20/07/2012 at 08:13
Thanks Kelly, praise indeed *blush*
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20/07/2012 at 03:40
Lovely–truly!
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20/07/2012 at 08:13
Thank you Ginny, appreciated
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20/07/2012 at 03:54
Wish the babies would wait for a warm day around here… no thunderstorms in February are their time of choice.
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20/07/2012 at 08:14
Aw heck, those little lambies just arrive when they’re good and ready …
Thanks for visiting ~ smiles ~
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20/07/2012 at 05:27
Spring the birth of a new year, fertile sweet smelling thinking of the pleasure of English country lanes seeing the lambs, so many thoughts as it could be birth of thought and creativity love it
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20/07/2012 at 08:15
Thoughtful comments for which I thank you so much ~ as I write this I can hear this years group bleating in the field next to our house …
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20/07/2012 at 17:45
Such a pretty poem. Really almost an Easter kind of poem, I thought. Though very naturalistic too, one can feel the stumbling of just-born feet.
Thanks also for all your kindness, Polly. k.
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20/07/2012 at 18:30
k, thank you for your lovely words, I see what you mean about it being an Easter kind of poem, new birth, lambs, yes, definitely for that time of year. 🙂
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28/10/2012 at 21:03
Reblogged this on Amanda Sanders Summary.
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24/04/2015 at 13:26
A beautiful share Polly ~ Thanks for linking it with D’verse OLN ~
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24/04/2015 at 13:35
Glad it’s OK with you to bring out an oldie, Grace, thanks for the prompt 🙂
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24/04/2015 at 13:56
Wonderful Polly, There is nothing that is more spring to me than a newborn lamb….
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24/04/2015 at 13:58
Aw…they’re pretty little things – thanks for commenting 🙂
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24/04/2015 at 15:44
spring and young animals bring joy and smiles
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24/04/2015 at 15:49
Joyous little critters jumping and running 😀
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24/04/2015 at 17:04
A wonderful poem filled with the new life of spring – serendipitously, just got a call from my husband driving to a clients home, he saw twin lambs in the field, newly born, is turning around now to stop and photograph!
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24/04/2015 at 18:26
Aw…that’s lovely 🙂
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24/04/2015 at 21:59
Polly, I have to laugh… I saw the single word in the title and thought for a moment that the poem was going to be about Lamb, the dish… not Lamb, the animal!! And I was filled with dread, because I love those curly little guys and hate to see them end up on a plate.
My fear diminished with the first line. (yikes…) This is a lovely poem, and I didn’t recognize any particular form, which is a strength, because usually forms are, you know, hanging out by the edges for all to see! None of that nonsense here. It would be paired (as in a wine tasting) with Viv’s ode to Spring published today. Very nicely done, Polly! (Hope you get a laugh…) Amy
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25/04/2015 at 07:30
heh-heh–Amy you made me giggle 🙂 ‘Lamb, the dish’ indeed! ROFL 😀
Pleased to see your fears were so quickly allayed!
I have one thing to say to you: ‘mint sauce’! (J for joke)
x
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24/04/2015 at 22:23
how cute! a lovely write.
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25/04/2015 at 07:30
Cheers Desmond – lambs are so cute 🙂
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27/04/2015 at 22:07
Yes.. the modern new of now.. is the
same now of old.. as new is birth
and yesterday and tomorrow
is always death
that cannot
truly
exist for now..:)
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27/04/2015 at 22:19
Thank you
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24/11/2022 at 03:01
This is a great blog
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24/11/2022 at 07:30
Thank you for commenting on ‘Lamb’ – it’s some years old and was the lead poem in my first poetry collection ‘Girl’s Got Rhythm’ published by Black Pear Press 🙂
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