I agree with Brian from dVerse, the Carroll square poem is a beast to do! Samuel Peralta is wicked!
Beyond The Pale
When he moves beyond the pale
he turns towards the darker man;
moves towards his blood host grimly,
beyond the blood mist, the gaols,
the darker host, the vampire child.
pale man grimly gaols child, defiled.
If a Carroll square poem works it can be read right to left and top to bottom. Below, I have spaced it to make reading it top to bottom easier and to show it more clearly:
Polly Stretton © 2012
29/06/2012 at 20:42
I’ve been trying this all work day 🙂 Thanks again for the idea. My attempt:
Spring beckons, again, the falling sun.
Beckons us to spring forward and
again to dream alone in shade.
The spring, alone, brings flowered breezes,
falling forward in flowered scented winds.
Sun and shade, breezes, winds; Spring.
29/06/2012 at 20:51
Ah, Danny, you’ve done it! Well done 🙂
30/06/2012 at 00:02
Danny, I should love to claim it as my idea, but it so is not! Your Carroll square poem is really good … have you tried dVerse poetry pub? They’re great over there, they give prompts like this two or three times a week, just copy and paste the link below to take a look ~ Polly
30/06/2012 at 00:16
Thanks! I just started following them
30/06/2012 at 00:18
Excellent, hope you’ve posted your square!
29/06/2012 at 22:05
Haven’t even worked out quite what it was they wanted us to do.
I’m sure my three versions are all wrong.
But interesting mechanically, at least the final one 🙂
29/06/2012 at 23:58
Aprille, I really like what you’ve done with your poems, much better than sticking to this wretched form that has exercised my pittance of a brain for almost an entire evening!
Thank goodness I’ve finally managed to come up with something bloggable – the earlier version might have been technically there but it really was rubbish – heh-heh
30/06/2012 at 01:08
Oh wow, I love this! Amazing, creepy tale. 🙂
30/06/2012 at 01:11
Hey-hey, that’ll do for me! Thanks for visiting Rosemary Mint
30/06/2012 at 05:08
Whoa, you have seriously made the hairs at the back of my neck stand on end. And to do this in the structure, that’s a feat. Well done.
30/06/2012 at 06:47
Hey! You started it Samuel!
Thanks for the prompt … one might call it ‘thought provoking’ 🙂
30/06/2012 at 13:30
What a pen of a darker man, chilling defiled images ~ Very well done with the form ~
30/06/2012 at 13:36
Thank you Grace – a challenging form 🙂
30/06/2012 at 14:06
great use of the form, you absolutely met the challenge and within a haunting expression, lovely ~ Rose
30/06/2012 at 14:08
Thanks Rose – what a prompt ‘eh?
30/06/2012 at 15:14
Looks like fun, and a good workout for the brain. I’ll have to try it sometime!
30/06/2012 at 18:00
You’d be good at it, Ethan. Let me know when you have a go 🙂
30/06/2012 at 18:56
Thanks, will do!
30/06/2012 at 15:54
Awesome tackling of the form, you set a marvelous atmosphere. Wonderfully done!
30/06/2012 at 16:08
Ooh, thank you Anna. Glad you like the atmosphere – it was somewhat more than a challenge (!) 🙂
30/06/2012 at 17:57
I thought this was rich and dark and perfectly executed. Bravo!
30/06/2012 at 17:59
Well now, that’s rich and dark and perfectly executed coming from you Gay! Bravo 🙂
… and thank you very much x
30/06/2012 at 18:09
Made my brain hurt just thinking about it…. Well done!
30/06/2012 at 18:13
Gee whiz, thanks Holly. it made my brain ache too 🙂
08/07/2012 at 01:21
Oh wow this is brilliant – I’ve never seen this done before! I’m in awe 🙂
08/07/2012 at 01:30
It is quite tricky – but satisfying 🙂
11/07/2012 at 16:36
I have never before heard of a Carroll square poem. A very cool idea indeed. Normally when I am writing poetry, the structure most noticeable is a lack of any. This would be a challenge for me.
Enjoyed your poem immensely,
11/07/2012 at 16:43
Oooh, thank you Cara. Same here re the ‘lack of any’! But it was fun to have a structure to consider and I may do more of it now 🙂
Many thanks for your thoughts ~ Polly