This poem is in response to K. McGee‘s blog about Ae Freslighe, a highly structured Irish poem format. It remains a challenge and I’ll continue to mull it over… fascinating form…
Daughter Of The Sewer Rat
Daughter urchin snivelling
in alleys dark and smelly
whining voice a’grizzling
with no food in her belly
Beneath the road, thundering
slow sewers, deep, dank, darkly
reach the child a’blundering
she stares at bleak walls starkly
Nightmare journey, quivering
trembling in waste water
cold with fright a’shivering
sewer rat’s own daughter
Polly Stretton © 2012
22/07/2012 at 07:32
Great photo and I like the description. Thank you.
22/07/2012 at 10:22
Thanks John ~ smiles ~
22/07/2012 at 11:59
This is dark, somewhat macabre, even. If she is human it is scary. I know in some cities people do live in the sewers and, isn’t that a sad thought. I don’t know anything about the Irish form but, do think this is a great poem.
22/07/2012 at 12:12
Ah, Bren, so true … a very sad thought that folk reside in dank, dark sewers …
Thank you so much for commenting – always good to hear from you 🙂
22/07/2012 at 12:09
I can’t get over how well you’ve tackled this form. Love the sprinkled alliteration and your word choices are a tongues delight. Very emotive: Foreboding. I signed up for an email alert on top of my feed subscription, this way I can catch all your poems without you getting lost in my extensive poetry feed. 🙂
22/07/2012 at 12:13
Gosh, thanks K, can’t tell you how much it means to have such comments from you, thank you.
Great to see you’ve decided to sign up – I’m loving it! 😀
18/07/2017 at 22:06
k, I don’t know if this will get to you, but I’m just tidying up my blog and came across this one, written to one of the prompts you used to give on form. Hope all’s well with you. Best–Polly
23/07/2012 at 01:01
I’m not sure how I missed this one. I usually gravitate to the dark ones. 😉
I’ll leave the format to you. I’ll just enjoy your words as always. 🙂
23/07/2012 at 05:37
Thanks Carrie, I’m having some fun with different forms just now and comment on them in case some of my poet friends will find it interesting too.
You seem to appreciate the darker ones and anything with a hint of medicine / science 🙂
I’m pleased you didn’t miss this one.
26/07/2012 at 03:16
def a dark shadow on this one but really nicely weaved in form…def great job on word choices as well to set the tone….
26/07/2012 at 07:15
Glad you liked the form, Brian. Thanks for your comments re word choices and tone.
26/07/2012 at 15:56
An Irish challenge! Good as a tryout. It’s always a challenge when lots of rhyming is involved. Great write Polly!
26/07/2012 at 15:59
Thank you Hank – you’re so right about the challenge! 🙂
29/07/2012 at 01:14
Oooh, I do like this one… I want to write about rats after seeing one of those “hoarder” programmes… You don’t want to know, really, I promise! 😉
29/07/2012 at 07:08
Oh! But I do! I really do! And what’s more, I just know you’ll deliver in due course 🙂
Glad you like this one.
29/07/2012 at 15:59
I do, I do – I’ve done rats in a semi-comic way in the past (the Dead Rat In The Drains, stinky poem)… but there is further the little paws can skitter yet I feel… 😉
29/07/2012 at 16:03
Clearly … it’s like those pigs … they are never far away! 😉