Polly

Writings and Witterings

Timeless River

34 Comments

Timeless River

River Severn – Worcester UK

Five past six, light, bright evening,
across the wrinkled river, close to town;
currents cross, eddies eddy and sunlit shadows
cast under the bridge arc, dipple dapple
age-worn brick.
Busy bridge shades, silhouettes,
lorries, buses, cars, infected insects
see workers return. Swans call canoeists,
fish chobble chunky bread, cygnets devour.
Ripples swirl and shine on flashy scales,
silver fishy swishy tails. Crickets bat
leg-to-leg whispers in sun-warm scents.
Slicks of green and purple
drift…
Twilight stealths in dusky summer shifts.
The torpid timeless river, close to town.

Polly Stretton © 2017

This version of a poem written in 2012 was updated for my writers’ circle prompt Across the River and was also my Open Link Night post for dVerse with Joe Hesch pulling drafts and tipping bottles. Now, a version appears in the second edition of Girl’s Got Rhythm.

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34 thoughts on “Timeless River

  1. Like this, very evocative..and ‘ripples swirl and shine on scales, flashy tails’ is a great line!

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    • Thanks Sue ~ did you go to the workshop last week? Are you going tomorrow? We wish we could be there, but working, so can’t (poo!)

      Wondering what my friends at writers’ circle will make of this one, it’s maybe not my usual sort of thing … though quite what my usual sort of thing is, is debatable! 🙂

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  2. Polly–this is great–love the movement in this. Stunning.

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  3. what a very lively capture of the scene…like a painting…one with quick brush strokes and clear colors..

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  4. Your poem is definitely rich with images that bring the reader right into your poem! Nice.

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  5. The diction is crisp and pleasing to read aloud, there the rhythm shines! I like Claudia’s comparison of painting – like the impressionists, full of vigor.

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  6. I love the almost singsong nature of the words you’ve chosen here. A very enjoyable read.

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  7. this is really beautiful…you really bring the scene to life in all its textures….vivid and lively…

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    • I read it at my writers’ circle tonight, Brian, and they liked it … there again, most of them are from Worcester UK [heh-heh]

      Thanks for your kindly comments ~ what stars all the dVerse bods are 🙂

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  8. Nice paintery strokes in this… And CHOBBLE, that’s a word for my mental notebook! So much detail deftly done!

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  9. Beautiful and vivid wording in this. Very nice!

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  10. Very rare these days I ever get to see the word Lorries being used, made me smile. Worcester is such a lovely part of England. I once visited Evesham a couple of times. Your imagery of the river and of the life in it and revolving around it is perfect Polly.

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    • Ah, Bren … just for those who might not know, lorries are trucks (is that right Bren?)

      Evesham is about 16 miles away from us, beautiful part of the world, and the same river runs through it …

      The river is perfect ~ so glad you enjoyed this poem Bren 🙂

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  11. Love this one Polly. Vivid and dynamic words. Cheers, Eric 🙂

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  12. Wonderful sounds, shadings, textures of river, bridge, people, and town. Such a thrill to see the picture as well. Isn’t this the same river that winds around Shrewsbury? I spent 3 days in Shrewsbury once and a long afternoon in Church Stretton. One of the most memorable travel moments in my life.

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    • It is the very same river that winds around Shrewsbury, Gay ~ good to see you enjoyed our beautiful countryside. 🙂

      Thanks for your kind words.

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  13. Lovely poem – I especially like the fish chobbling and cricket bats! k.

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  14. love the beats, the flow and all the beautiful imagery you create!!!

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  15. Wonderful descriptions in this “Twilight stealths in dusky summer shifts” ….loved the poem! 🙂

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  16. Lovely, I can see and feel the river.

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  17. A lovely and image-filled poem, Polly. The “wrinkled river” is a wonderful phrase, wish I had thought of that, lol. Thanks for visiting me and commenting, it is a pleasure to meet you.

    Pamela

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