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Writings and Witterings

Timeless River

by 34 Comments

Timeless River

River Severn—Worcester UK

Five past six, light, bright evening,
across the wrinkled river, close to town;
currents cross, eddies eddy and sunlit shadows
cast under the bridge arc, dipple dapple
age-worn brick.
Busy bridge shades, silhouettes,
lorries, buses, cars, infected insects
see workers return. Swans call canoeists,
fish chobble chunky bread; cygnets devour.
Ripples swirl and shine on flashy scales,
silver fishy swishy tails. Crickets bat
leg-to-leg whispers in sun-warm scents.
Slicks of green and purple
drift…
Twilight stealths in dusky summer shifts.
The torpid timeless river, close to town.

Polly Stretton © 2017

This version of a poem written in 2012 was updated for my writers’ circle prompt Across the River and was also my Open Link Night post for dVerse with Joe Hesch pulling drafts and tipping bottles. Now, a version appears in the second edition of Girl’s Got Rhythm.

34 thoughts on “Timeless River”

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  1. Sue Judd
    04/09/2012 at 09:51

    Like this, very evocative..and ‘ripples swirl and shine on scales, flashy tails’ is a great line!

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    • Polly
      04/09/2012 at 09:54

      Thanks Sue ~ did you go to the workshop last week? Are you going tomorrow? We wish we could be there, but working, so can’t (poo!)

      Wondering what my friends at writers’ circle will make of this one, it’s maybe not my usual sort of thing … though quite what my usual sort of thing is, is debatable! 🙂

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  2. Susan L Daniels
    04/09/2012 at 16:17

    Polly–this is great–love the movement in this. Stunning.

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  3. Claudia
    04/09/2012 at 18:42

    what a very lively capture of the scene…like a painting…one with quick brush strokes and clear colors..

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  4. Mary
    04/09/2012 at 23:18

    Your poem is definitely rich with images that bring the reader right into your poem! Nice.

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  5. Anna Montgomery
    04/09/2012 at 23:38

    The diction is crisp and pleasing to read aloud, there the rhythm shines! I like Claudia’s comparison of painting – like the impressionists, full of vigor.

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  6. Emily
    04/09/2012 at 23:40

    I love the almost singsong nature of the words you’ve chosen here. A very enjoyable read.

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  7. brian miller
    04/09/2012 at 23:44

    this is really beautiful…you really bring the scene to life in all its textures….vivid and lively…

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    • Polly
      04/09/2012 at 23:47

      I read it at my writers’ circle tonight, Brian, and they liked it … there again, most of them are from Worcester UK [heh-heh]

      Thanks for your kindly comments ~ what stars all the dVerse bods are 🙂

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  8. Brian Carlin
    04/09/2012 at 23:50

    Nice paintery strokes in this… And CHOBBLE, that’s a word for my mental notebook! So much detail deftly done!

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  9. charlesmashburn
    04/09/2012 at 23:55

    Beautiful and vivid wording in this. Very nice!

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  10. Daydreamertoo
    05/09/2012 at 00:11

    Very rare these days I ever get to see the word Lorries being used, made me smile. Worcester is such a lovely part of England. I once visited Evesham a couple of times. Your imagery of the river and of the life in it and revolving around it is perfect Polly.

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    • Polly
      05/09/2012 at 00:17

      Ah, Bren … just for those who might not know, lorries are trucks (is that right Bren?)

      Evesham is about 16 miles away from us, beautiful part of the world, and the same river runs through it …

      The river is perfect ~ so glad you enjoyed this poem Bren 🙂

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  11. Eric Alagan
    05/09/2012 at 02:00

    Love this one Polly. Vivid and dynamic words. Cheers, Eric 🙂

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  12. Gay Reiser Cannon
    05/09/2012 at 02:55

    Wonderful sounds, shadings, textures of river, bridge, people, and town. Such a thrill to see the picture as well. Isn’t this the same river that winds around Shrewsbury? I spent 3 days in Shrewsbury once and a long afternoon in Church Stretton. One of the most memorable travel moments in my life.

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    • Polly
      05/09/2012 at 06:16

      It is the very same river that winds around Shrewsbury, Gay ~ good to see you enjoyed our beautiful countryside. 🙂

      Thanks for your kind words.

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  13. ManicDdaily
    05/09/2012 at 04:27

    Lovely poem – I especially like the fish chobbling and cricket bats! k.

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  14. Mohana
    05/09/2012 at 06:42

    love the beats, the flow and all the beautiful imagery you create!!!

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  15. Louise
    05/09/2012 at 08:40

    Wonderful descriptions in this “Twilight stealths in dusky summer shifts” ….loved the poem! 🙂

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  16. tigerbrite
    05/09/2012 at 16:36

    Lovely, I can see and feel the river.

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  17. PJF Sayers
    05/09/2012 at 17:40

    A lovely and image-filled poem, Polly. The “wrinkled river” is a wonderful phrase, wish I had thought of that, lol. Thanks for visiting me and commenting, it is a pleasure to meet you.

    Pamela

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