Writings and Witterings

I Hate Clowns


Written to a prompt by Worcester Writers’ Circle.

A friendly clown

I Hate Clowns

Look at him with his great big grin and all that red and yellow around his mouth. He’s bound to be picked first. Kids love clowns.

I want to be picked first. The gifts on the Christmas Tree have a competition every year: who’ll be picked first. After the food, the children will have Christmas games, then come to the tree to choose gifts. Please let it be me first this year. I really want it to be me.

Still, who would want a dusty little robin whose seen better days? Even with a spangled necktie. I must look happy. Look happy! Here they come!

A little boy comes first, brown hair and shy smile, he wears jeans and a reindeer sweater.  Look happy! Look happy! He’s reaching for me … That’s right, pick me. Pick me.
No! No! Not the box wrapped in gold paper with red ribbons! Why, you don’t even know what’s in it! Why would anyone choose a box?

Off he goes, grinning.

There’s much muttering amongst the gifts on the tree, ‘The box has gone. The box has gone. Who will be next?’ What they don’t know is that I have an extra gift for whoever chooses me. Whoever chooses me gets what they wish for.

More children come and choose, completely ignoring me, and then, a girl with a blue sparkly headband. Here I am, dear. Pick me! Pick me! Look I’m smiling at you. No, not up there, down here, much easier to reach. Pick me!

She walks away with me clutched in her hand, I am overjoyed. This leaves only the clown.

The last small boy sees the clown and starts howling ‘I hate clowns.’

The little girl who chose me says ‘I wish he’d cheer up.’

And he did.

Polly Robinson © 2012


18 thoughts on “I Hate Clowns

  1. No one ever likes to be picked last… Fun read. 🙂


  2. This reminds me of toy story… Or as I joke the road to Hoarding…
    Being picked last stinks but as long as the person likes you a lot nothing else matters!!!


  3. That is not a happy clown in your picture. Did you.deliberately pick one to scare us?


    • Would I do a thing like that to you, Joe? I have changed the pic now, just for you 😀

      When I read the story, one of the other writers who is a magician, told us of how clowns ‘get over’ the fear lots of children experience when they first see a clown. Apparently, they turn up as themselves and put the makeup on in front of the children so that they see the transformation, how cool is that?! 🙂


  4. I’ve always been a bit scared of clowns! I hope I would have picked you. This is a lovely story Polly.


    • Since Joe said my clown at the top of the page was scary, I’ve found a friendlier looking clown ~ don’t want to scare all you lovely folk!

      Thanks for your comment, Wendy x


  5. Love that cute robin.


  6. There is no middle ground when it comes to clowns. You either love ’em or hate ’em. I hate them.


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