Writings and Witterings


The Temporary Book-seller

Mike Alma did a sterling job selling Girl’s Got Rhythm and recorded the experience in a poem 🙂

The Temporary Book-seller

A poem by Mike Alma

“How much, guv’?”

“A fiver to you, bruv’,
And you, sister?”

“Go on, make it four, mister.”

“I can’t do that, chick …
Well, maybe, if you kiss me quick.”

“I won’t do that, you stupid perve –
Don’t know how you’ve got the nerve.”

“Me neither – never mind –
Just a thought, if you’d be so kind.”

“My hubby, ‘ere, is eight foot eight,
So I think you must anticipate
An exit through that closed door, there …”

“Do you think that threat is really fair?”

“Fair or not, that’s what you’ll get,
And I can’t see no safety net!”

“’Ere I go, I’m on my way –
Flying now – no time to pray
For redemption, less it comes real quick,
‘Cause I’m trav’lin’ at a fair old lick.”

Crash, bang, wallop – stars above –
“How ‘bout two pound fifty, luv?”

N.B. Must be read in a North London accent – essential to properly comprehend the nuances present in the spoken word associated with certain areas of Ponders End, Enfield Wash and Brimsdown (Brims-daaahn) – no, not cockney … not even Dick Van (‘ello guv’na’) Dyke.



Launch Day! There It Was…Gone!

It’s launch day! At least, it was when I first put this post up! Now it’s been and gone and we had a great time, there was a cake with the book cover (marvellous) and everyone seemed to enjoy themselves.  Many, many thanks to everyone who performed and to all my guests—it really was a special night.

So, for those of you who don’t know what this is all about, Girl’s Got Rhythm, my debut poetry collection, is available on Kindle and from Black Pear Press 🙂

GGR BPP Front Cover - Stretton

The cake!